Can you make your fall wishlist without peeking?

I’ve been thinking about advice I read about clothes and shopping and making my fall wishlist, and I’m thinking it’s all wrong…is it just me?

It’s the end of September, which means it might actually start to cool down in the next month. I try to hold myself back from shopping for fall clothes in August and September because I won’t really get to wear those items outside the house yet, and why receive packages if there’s no instant gratification? To keep it real.

I am, however, going on a cold-weather trip to Europe! The kind with sleet! And the need for a coat! This hasn’t happened to me since I lived in Colorado (6 years ago, CRIES), and some of my actual fall items are no longer sufficient. So, I did what any chronically online shopper would do and started building a fall wishlist, the way I’ve been trained:

-Gather Pinterest inspiration

-Browse fashionable social accounts

-Create a list of what is showing up in those pins over and over, and go shop!

Except…along the way, I realized this advice was steering me way off course. Suddenly I “needed” many completely unrealistic items, including kitten heel boots (can you imagine the injuries when I’m strolling cobblestone streets at Christmas markets??), coats with scarves built in (I’m just gonna say it: sensory nightmare), and barn jackets (to add to my pile of jackets that only work for exactly 3 days a year).

And then I remembered some criticism I received in a graduate seminar, which was that my opinions were mostly reactive to what others were saying, instead of proactive and confident in my own thoughts and approach.

Grad school trauma comes out at the strangest times!

It did inspire me to think more proactively about my fall wishlist, however. What if my wishes came from inside, instead of from beautiful advertising images? So, I made a new list. Here is my best advice about how to do it yourself.

The “closet frustration” note

One of the most valuable notes in my chaotic notes app is “things that felt missing.” It’s where I write down what I wish I had if I’m ever getting dressed and feeling stuck. Some closet frustrations appear multiple times, which is usually a good sign that it could be an actual closet wish:

-A brown belt with silver hardware

-Lavender shoes (haven’t found them yet, but closet wishes are allowed to be absurd!!)

–A greige blazer

–Red flats

You’ll notice these are pricier items! The nice thing about slowing my roll and making a wishlist is that I might occasionally allow myself to buy the perfect thing, if I’m doing a good job saying no to impulse buys. Otherwise, finding the perfect thing also gives me clear inspo for more budget-friendly items and for secondhand browsing!

Close your eyes and design it

The best thing about sewing is that it has empowered me to wish for whatever I want. However, I think this approach is also helpful for shopping, as we are truly living in a time of unlimited secondhand options. Instead of browsing images for inspiration, I made a list of things I wanted without looking at anything. This included:

-More cropped t-shirts in soft neutrals like blue-ish gray and light yellow

-A wrap skirt in a pattern that includes many of my go-to colors (this was something I felt was missing in my Portugal list)

-A tote bag that feels casual but modern/strange: something that brings any casual outfit together when I am off to the coffee shop

-A zip up layer that doesn’t feel like a sweatshirt

Let the fall wishlist rest

And then, I just…let the wishlist hang out. Instead of being swayed by every influencer post, I felt that I would know exactly when something was right and could confidently pass on the trends as they arose.

And you know what? Within 2 weeks, the perfect strange tote bag crossed my feed. And I knew it was perfect because I had made the list without peeking! (As an aside, I bought it for over 50% off, so I don’t know what Ref is playing at with that price.)

And then I found a zip up layer that doesn’t feel like a sweatshirt!

It was like I had applied a filter over my own shopping habits. Instead of scarcity, the things I wanted were surprisingly easy to find. It’s possible I was subconsciously making a list of items I had already seen? But I think it was also a reminder that we are drowning in clothes and clothing advertisements. It’s ok to close your eyes and think about what you actually want, instead of simply reacting to everything that crosses your feed!

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